Life, Love and Animal Crackers

I think the title to this blog entry is most fitting to some concrete revelations I have come to recently.

It hit me like a ton of bricks how much I love my kiddos and how blessed I am to have each and every one of them in my life. Don't get me wrong, as I have always loved my kiddos since the first day they came into my life. But as we were all sitting together at a table in our classroom practicing writing our letters, I look around the table and couldn't help but be overcome by the incredible little ones that I have the privilege of spending time with.

I know that I have taught my kiddos so much...how to hold a pencil, how to write letters and numbers, to count, to read, to use our words when we are upset, how to stand nicely in line, using a tissue to wipe our noses, etc. Those are all very important things for these little ones to learn. As I look at the progress that is measured in their IEP goals and the student work hanging on the bulletin board, I can't help but be proud that I helped them accomplish those things with valuable "tools" for their toolboxes.

However, as I was working with them today, I was overcome with a sense of love that can only be experienced when you are a teacher. They were practicing their letters on their papers...for many students this is a skill they have worked so hard to do.

One of my little kinder boys who was sitting next to me, looked up at me and said "Miss B, I love you. I'm writing my letters. Beautiful right? I like them. I hungry. Tummy is hungry. We have animal crackers now?"

My eyes began to water. He came to me not long ago and wasn't able to write any letters, and is now able to trace without any hand over hand assistance. This is huge for him!

As one tear spilled over and ran down my face, this little kiddo put his hand on mine and smiled and said once again that he loved me. This is the same thing I do when any of the kiddos are crying..whether it be a skinned knee, hurt feelings or they broke their crayon.

He then promptly said "Animal crackers make you feel better. Yuuuuuummmmy!" He then burst into the most adorable laughter ever.

I couldn't help but burst into laughter as well as I got up and got the fresh bag of chocolate animal crackers out for our afternoon snack.

While I prepare differentiated lessons each day for these kiddos and teach them valuable skills, they teach me more about life, love and being yourself.

I have read countless articles, blogs and books that explore different aspects and avenues of living your life, loving your life and being completely who you are. I have also had wonderful conversations with friends and even strangers about these three things as well. While I gained great insight through reading these things and having these deep, thought provoking conversations, I learn more from my kiddos.

Let me give you another example:

Student 1 is carrying his sweater while we are walking from the water fountain to our classroom and decides to put it around his shoulders like it was a scarf. He had a smile on his face that clearly stated to the world that he thoroughly enjoyed this new found fashionable look.

Students 2 and 3 from another class walk by, look at the student, and have quiet snickers to one another.

Student 1 looks at them; he then turns his head back to watch where he is walking. Instead of being upset and crying, or saying something mean to the other students, he puts an even bigger smile on his face and begins to laugh.

I look at him puzzled. I honestly thought he would be upset by the other students laughing. I asked him, "Oh goodness, something sure made you laugh! What are you laughing about?"

Student 1 looks at me and says, "They like my sweater. They like it because I am a rock star!"

He toddles off into our classroom and promptly goes to his square on the front rug.

I stood there silent. Dumbfounded. If someone were to walk past me and snicker, I would immediately think that they were making fun of me. I would be hurt and upset. But he simply had the positive thought that they liked his "scarf" because it made him look like a rock star.

His outlook was positive. He believed without a doubt that those kids were being nice and there was no way that their laughing was meant in an ill-mannered way.

This student loves himself for who he is. He has a genuine love for life. That childlike outlook is something that many of us once had, but unfortunately lost so long ago. But why?

As I stood there I was overcome with happiness of how this little person just taught me an extremely important and very much needed life lesson.

While I was focused on teaching academics and social skills, my students taught me about life.

How blessed am I?? Blessed beyond measure.

I have had my moments of homesickness and feeling lost since moving out here. But moments like this one put everything into perspective. I have wondered why on earth God brought me to this place, and in little moments like these, God reveals that these kids are why I am here. He brought me here because these little ones needed me and I needed them.

Lots of Learning

Hello family and friends...it has been a while. I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to write a new entry but then I seem to have other things that take precedence or I'm just plain tired.
The last time I updated my blog, it was the beginning of January. I was sitting at home in Michigan in the living room. Mom and Dad watching TV with me and snow falling gently outside.
Today, I am sitting at Paradise Bakery and Cafe (which is basically the AZ version of Panera Bread). It is sunny outside...like most every other day here. 70 degrees with a slight breeze. Not too shabby :)

My days are filled with teaching the sweetest, most curious bunch of little kiddos. I currently have 8 students in my self-contained classroom. My students are honestly the very best thing about being out here teaching. While it is a lot of work to plan lessons and activities that fit their individual needs, they keep me sane amidst the rest of the craziness.
If someone would have told me some of the things I would experience and learn my first year teaching, my response would have been "yeah, right." But no one did, thus I am constantly reflecting and trying to grow.
Let me give you some insight: My school district was audited by the state this year for special ed paperwork...holy crap. So, all of us first year teachers were thrown in to not only to survive but try to be meticulous with our paperwork...it was quite overwhelming at times. Thankfully I have my "other half" at school and we make up the SpEd team at our school. We respectfully call ourselves the "hot mess" team. We mean it lovingly though :)
But it all seriousness, we have learned so much thus far. Much more than lots of seasoned teachers. We have decided to try and look at the positive, and see these things as tools to use and experiences that have and will continue to make us better teachers. We are trying to choose joy rather than frustration. Thankfully we have administration that is more supportive than we could even imagine and a few mentors we have met along the way.

I have also found the Master's program that I want to start. It is an online Master in Education program through MSU...I love it because I can choose two areas of concentration, which I have chosen as Special Education and K-12 Leadership. So now I have a few people working on my letters of recommendation and I'm trying to write my "mission" about myself and how it pertains to this program. My goodness that is a lot to get across in 750 words or less. Jeez! I don't want to start until Fall semester but I want to apply by the end of March. So I have a little time to organize my thoughts.

I am going to share a few cute things my kiddos have done and said lately that make my heart both melt and leap for joy:

~ One of my students learned how to wink. Cutest. thing. ever.

~When I asked my students what they needed to do when they got to the playground after lunch, one student promptly replied with "You keep your hands to yourself, use kind words, play nice and no kissing." Now that answer
is solid! :)

~Love this conversation between me and one of my kinder boys on our way to recess:
Student: Miss B I like your hair.
Me: oh thank you!
Student: it is beautiful!
Me: aww thank you sweetie. Do you think I should cut it or keep it long?
Student: ahhhh you should keep it long. It is so pretty and soft. And I bet it is ticklish!
Me: ummm sure it is....
Then he decides it is more fun to go play :)

~ One student who couldn't hold a pencil at the beginning of the school year, is able to write his numbers to 10 and most letters of the alphabet all by himself. That has been an emotional achievement.

I have also been busy with things outside of school as well. We had a 3-day weekend in January and Kristi and I went to Prescott for a weekend. We went hiking near this beautiful lake...

We had so much fun hiking and exploring downtown Prescott...adorable little shops. We found some treasures and talked to this sweet old man in one of the stores. So nice :)

My grandparents came out here for a couple of weeks and stayed in a condo in Mesa. I was so thankful to be able to spend a couple of weekends with them. We went down the Apache Trail and to Tortilla Flats. We explored the Mesa Swap-meet. Lots of treasures there of course! We went to the Boyce Thompson Arboretum...beautiful desert landscape. And we drove a ways East of Mesa through the mountains and such. It was super hard for see them go but the time we enjoyed together out here was so incredible. I am so lucky to have such wonderful grandparents. It was tons of fun enjoying Sangria's and playing intense games of UNO :)

One of the most inspiring people in my life.

We also went to Sedona one weekend for a 5K and walked to Cathedral Rock, which is one of the prettiest places I have seen out here...reminds me a lot of Northern Michigan. I love Red Rock Country...more beautiful every time I see it :)

Cathedral Rock

Best caramel apple ever...dirt cake style complete with a gummy worm :)

I have also completed two 5K's..one in Sedona

I am also so pumped for my Mom and Grandma to come out for my Spring Break! They should get in on Monday the 12th and we plan to leave early Tuesday morning...possibly heading up to Hoover Dam, Las Vegas, and then down to San Diego for a few days. I've never been to Vegas so I would love to see that and going to San Diego would be awesome because I haven't been there either and I would love to spend some time by the ocean. But really anything we do will be fun, just spending time together :)

I am going to try and update this blog more frequently...thanks for reading and please continue to send prayers my way. Specifically prayers to enjoy this adventure God provided for me and not try to rush through this to my next adventure. Lots and lots of love :)

Being the "real teacher"

It has been over 5 months since I have updated my blog. Turns out moving across the country and it being my first year teaching is actually a lot of work. Who knew!?!? Needless to say I have been quite busy with getting my classroom up and running, lesson planning, IEP's, meetings, trying to have a life outside of school, etc. I have thought quite a few times over the past several months about updating it but never could muster up the energy to do so. Yes, I have been that exhausted. But I do want to share with all of you the great things over the last few months and also a few of the challenges- which have all made me stronger. So here we go!

I finished up the TFA summer institute in the middle of July. Thank goodness. It was super challenging because I had to lesson plan and such  by following the TFA model, and I was used to doing it completely different. While I agree that learning to do something a new way is good, I don't enjoy being told how I have to plan my lessons. But I got through it, thanks so an incredible collaborative team, super cool mentor, new friends and of course, the most adorable group of 1st grade kiddos ever!

It was stressful throughout institute trying to figure out where I was going to live after institute was completed. I checked out a few places, but honestly I had no idea where to begin. This was a completely new place and I wasn't sure of the "good" pockets of town and the "not so good" pockets of town. Thankfully, my Grandma was talking with her friend Eileen about my adventure in the Valley of the Sun. Eileen had a niece living and teaching out in the West Valley. So they were in contact with Kristi, telling her I was new to the area. Thankfully she took pity on me and came all the way across town and picked me up for the day. She took me all around the West Valley- her apartment, lunch out, bowling and Peter Piper Pizza with some of her friends. It felt like we had been friends forever! It was such a nice time. I mentioned that I was looking for an apartment and it worked out that she needed a new roommate...and the rest is history! Whew! Not only was I relieved to know I had a place to live after institute, but I was also going to live with a pretty cool chick. Woohoo!

School began the beginning of August. I teach in a self-contained special education classroom. I started out with 5 students and a parapro. I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. I mean, yeah Grand Valley and my student teaching placements had taught me so much, but nothing can really prepare you for the real deal. I was now the "real" teacher. So excited yet totally terrified at the same time.
I immediately fell in love with my kiddos. So adorable! We quickly dove into learning and the kids were genuinely excited to learn (gotta love that)! Thankfully, Renae the teacher next to me, helped me so much. Ideas for lessons, insights on the kids, a shoulder to cry on and of course my daily dose of humor. As a fellow Michigander, she knew what it feels like to move across the country from everything you have ever known. She is truly a Godsend and incredible sister in Christ.

I wasn't the only new special education teacher at my school. Mitch was the new resource teacher. This was his first year of teaching and he just moved from Michigan as well! We quickly became really good friends to one another and honestly have been clinging to each other as life vests to stay afloat. Oh the reality of being a first year teacher. So not only was it the first year of teaching for both of us, but we are also the only two special education teachers at our school. Whoa.

As the school year went on, I continued to love spending time with my kiddos. But something that seemed to be true is that the population in our community is very transient. Moving around. Coming and going. It was super hard to have some of my kiddos move to a different school because they had to move with their families. However, it was also exciting to get some new kiddos as well.

Unfortunately things were not going so well with my assistant. I don't want to say much but thankfully he is no longer at our school and I now have a fantastic assistant who knows how to work with kids and understands the unique qualities of my special needs students.

Due to an influx in school enrollment, I had to move to a classroom in the portable at my school. I was bummed at first because I would no longer be next to Renae and I had put so much time and effort into making that first classroom exactly what I had wanted it to be. Although, once I began moving to the new classroom, I became excited. I was now across the hall from Mitch and my new classroom seemed to be much more comfortable and home-like. I had a new way to arrange my classroom, and different ways to decorate it. It turned out to be much better for us and our needs.

I feel like I have learned so much for it only being my first year of teaching. There have been so many ups and downs. The good parts have been wonderful and while the hard parts have been challenging, I feel like it has all helped me to grow not only as a teacher, but also as a person. So I go by the quote by Shauna Niequist "When life is sweet say thank you and celebrate. When life is bitter say thank you and grow."

In addition to life as a teacher, I have been able to explore the Phoenix area as well as other parts of AZ. Since I live in the West Valley, I have kept busy with nearby shopping, museums, sightseeing and the Westgate Center that has tons of restaurants and entertainment. Kristi, Mitch and I often go out to eat to the Sandbar (a real favorite of ours), Macayos, Applebees, etc. Then usually come back to our apartment and watch a movie and go to the hot tub. This is our idea of having a social life :)

We were able to go to Sedona while my Mom and Grandma were out to visit us during Labor Day weekend. We hiked to Cathedral Rock, drove around looking at all of the beautiful landscapes, Chapel Rock and many other cool things. We also went down the Apache trail to Tortilla Flats and over to Mesa to check out the huge indoor flea market. It was quite an awesome weekend!
Over Thanksgiving break, Kristi's Mom came out and we went up to the Grand Canyon. That place is even more beautiful than I remembered it being when I was there in July. Incredible piece of artwork created by God's hands. We drove through Flagstaff on our way up there. Pretty cool place. If we would have had the time, we would have gladly spent a day or two exploring! On the way home we stopped in Sedona and went to Slide Rocks. Awesome place.
Kristi and I have a list of things that we still want to do: Weekend in Flagstaff, Out of Africa zoo, Payson old west town, San Diego, hiking at South Mountain, White Tank Mountains and Camelback Mountain, etc. Lots of things we are excited to do.

I am really enjoying my experience thus far in AZ. While it is certainly very different from what I have always known, it is good and beautiful in so many ways. I never would have imagined that God would lead me to such a place, but he so clearly did. He has a purpose for me being there and I am excited to see what he reveals to me.
I'm not sure where I will go once my two year commitment with TFA is completed but I have been praying fervently about it. I have always had a plan. I knew in high school that I was going to Grand Valley to become a SpEd teacher and I knew my senior year at GV that I had a teaching position waiting for me in Phoenix, Arizona. So while I am trying to focus and concentrate on the here and now, I can't help but think about and wonder where I might go next. :)

I have started thinking about different areas of the US that might be nice. I don't know if Michigan is where I am supposed to be, but it is still up for consideration :) I am really interested in Colorado..maybe I will go there for a few days of my spring break and check out the Denver area.
I also feel led to do some short-term missionary work abroad during summer months but God and I haven't yet figured out what He wants me to do.
So for right now I am content in my adventure in AZ and all of the incredible experiences and people I have met since moving there. Please pray for me and my teaching, my students, friends and family I am far from and of course, trusting totally the plan God has for my life :)

Love you all!